I want to talk to you on a subject which is very dear to my heart and encourage you to pray, based on a very strong and powerful experience in my life from Romans 8.
In 1964, as many of you know, I was diagnosed with throat cancer. I had refused ALL medical treatment. Yes, I had had the X-rays and the camera down my throat, many different tests, and every one of them confirmed that I had throat cancer. But I determined to pray my way through, in part because I was pastor of a church which had been founded on my evangelism and the miracles that took place in that evangelism. The miracles were recorded in the local newspaper – blind eyes, deaf ears opened, cripples healed! So I determined, NO medical treatment, I’ll fast and I’ll pray and God will heal me!
After 3 months I went back to the doctors and said, ‘Good news, I’ve prayed, and I’m healed!” They examined me and said, “Bad news – you’re not! God doesn’t answer your prayer because there is no God! Your cancer is now so big, it’s become an emergency, we have to operate immediately!” This was Friday, I was to come in first thing Monday morning.
That gave me a couple of days. On the Saturday I was praying – as you might – “O God, heal me! If the doctors operate, I’ll lose my voice!” But on the Sunday, I felt I was facing a second challenge, because at that time I was in a dilemma, whether to continue as a pastor, or give up my church and go full time into evangelism in the Soviet Union and in Israel – I had been working in Israel, travelling there through the Iron Curtain countries since 1961 – it was a massive decision to make! I didn’t know what to do, so now I prayed very dangerously, probably the most dangerous prayer I have ever prayed in my life, and I don’t want you to pray like I did! I said, “Lord, if You want me to stay in England with my church, don’t heal me! I’ll go to the doctors on Monday and I’ll tell them You couldn’t do it... But if You want me to leave the church and go to Russia and to Israel, then I need a miracle! I need You to remove this cancer. It’s in Your Hands!”
But then, because I’m very impatient – my staff all know that – I said to the Lord, “I want the answer, NOW! Am I going to be healed or not? Yes or No?” How could I get the answer? Well, if you want God to speak to you, He’ll speak very clearly through His Word, through Scripture! But where should I start? I did something a bit stupid: I had an American ‘promise box’, full of little texts which you pull out at random... So I went to the box, pulled out a verse – Romans 8:28, ‘For we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.’
When I tell this story most people say, “Oh, praise the Lord!” But my reaction was horror, “O God, that’s NOT an answer! I’m a preacher, I KNOW that all things work together for good to those who love God... I want a straight answer – NOW! Am I healed of the cancer, in other words, do I go to Russia – or am I not healed, in which case I have the operation tomorrow and I stay in the UK. I want an answer, Yes or No, in writing, in Scripture!”
I was in prayer, in my bedroom, where do I get this straight answer? It was as if the Holy Spirit said to me, “Look, you chose at random Romans 8:28. If you want the answer, get your Bible, open it up and start reading from the beginning of the chapter.” I know it by heart, v1, ‘There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life...” I said, “No, that’s not the answer!” So I kept on reading through, v2, ‘For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death’ – incidentally, for those who want to go back to the Jewish practices, we are set free from the Law – ‘for what the law could not do, because it was weak, because it was in the flesh, God sent His Own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh’, not to be condemned, but to condemn the sin, because Christ lived a life without sin in the flesh, ‘so that the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who don’t walk after the flesh, but after the Spirit,’ vv3-4.
I wasn’t understanding any of this, I was blind to everything except one thing, I wanted a Yes or a No from God! But it’s clear, Paul explains, the righteousness of the law is fulfilled in us when we cease walking after the flesh, and walk after the Spirit! Because those that walk after the flesh think and act after the flesh. But those who walk after the Holy Spirit think and do the things according to the Spirit. But this still wasn’t Yes or No, and to put it bluntly, I went on reading. Verse 13, ‘If you live after the flesh you will die, but if through the Spirit you mortify the deeds of the body, you shall live.’ This is talking about the ‘legal’ side of our salvation, it’s not giving me the answer that I’m looking for, Yes or No.